Chapter 3
Half And Half
Rose Hsu Jordan
Rose begins this chapter with speaking of how important her mother's bible was to her. She brought it everywhere and trusted in its every word. Watching her clean her bible, she contemplates how she is going to break the news of her divorce with her husband Ted to her mother. Rose reflects on when she first started dating Ted, without the consent of either of their mothers. Rose expresses how she loved being Ted's "damsel in distress" and let him make all of the descisions. However, when Ted, whom is a dermatologist, loses a malpractice suit, their relationship falls apart. He believes since Rose has no voice and will not make any decisions that she is avoiding responsibility and blame. He then asked her for a divorce. This sends Rose further into her mind, flashing back to a terrible and scarring time in her childhood. She recalls a day when her family went to the beach, all of her brothers and sisters ran off and Rose became in charge of her four year old brother Bing. As her father fishes off some rocks further out in the water, Bing asks Rose if he can go to him. Rose, both watching her sisters down the beach and Bing, tells him yes but to be careful. Bing slowly walks acorss the rocks, and with Rose watching, falls into the water without leaving a trace. Rose stands in shock and the family, realizing Bing's absence, runs to the water. Authorities searched for Bing's body for hours with no success.Refusing to accept this, An-Mei drives to the beach with Rose early in the morning to search for Bing. She reads prayers from the bible on the beach and makes offerings to appease the Coiling Dragon who lives in the sea. She also believed that her ability to do anything she put her mind to (her nengkan) would find Bing. Eventually, An-Mei gives up on her search for bing. After this, Rose thought her mother had finally accepted the idea that faith cannot change fate. An-Mei instead tells Rose that fate is shaped "half by expectation, half by inattention" (hence the title, "Half and Half"). Just as her inattention caused Bing to drown, her inattention to her marriage caused Ted to request a divorce.
This chapter is about guilt and blame. Rose, after losing her brother while he was under her responsibility, now fears to take on any responsibility. When she asks An-Mei why she should save her marraige if there is no hope, An-Mei replies with "Because you must...this is not hope. Not reason. This is your fate...what you must do" (pg 130).
I learned that Rose is a very fearful person. She is similar to her mother. An-Mei was quiet as a child, she just took whatever was given to her and was scared to tell the world what she wanted. An-Mei does not want her daughter to be this way, so she basically tells her to change her fate. Take on the responsibility for her failing marriage and make it work. As I read the daughter's tales, I am starting to see that (though the daughters don't agree) each mother-daughter pair are very much alike in their own ways.
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